Trying to Take Over the World!

I am now close to 40Gs in the hole :(

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Wed, 30 May 2012 19:24:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

When I started blogging my student loans were close to $30,000 they are now close to $40,000. :( I called to straighten some things out and the customer service rep was horrible. I'm angry and heavily in debt.

Time to hustle. I'm trying to get debt free in 3 yrs. I've had enough of this garbage.

I live down the street from a violent rapist

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Tue, 22 May 2012 18:25:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,
Apparently last night a man that lives on my street brutally attacked a young woman and raped her. He was caught mid act and took off running still trying to keep his pants up. SubhanaAllah!

May the victim heal and overcome this trauma. AMEEN

This has been unsettling for me, as a survivor of rape and a severe case of social anxiety that I only just got a hold on this freaks me out. The rape occurred near a street I walk with my toddlers on our daily walks. I'm back to NOT wanting to set foot outside my house but I can't let this affect my kids. :/ What to do?

Extremely strict...

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Fri, 18 May 2012 02:56:00 +0000

Make Islam a lifejacket for the people, not a straitjacket. Take it easy! The Prophet ﷺ said, "Give glad tidings, don't turn people away!" -taken from Abu Eesa Niamatullah.

As Salaamu Aaalaykum, my thoughts...
Extremely strict or extremely liberal are subjective terms. As a person with HORRIBLE habits before Islam, one of the whispers shaytan would constantly beat me with was, "you can't make it to your morning classes on time but you want to join a religion that requires you be awake BEFORE sunrise or else be sinful?" I don't remember EVER seeing a sunrise until after I took shahada.

However, as soon as I became Muslim @Isha time it was also my first prayer and I was able to wake up for all my fajrs on time. It wasn't as difficult or stringent as I thought if you make it a priority.

I wouldn't try to push someone to do my routine as it took me 6 years to build up to where I am right now and when I look to the students of ilm around me I noticed that its almost nothing compared to what I've seen them do and only Allah swt knows of the amount they do in private. I also have to remind myself that it also took them several years of practice and adjustment to build up to where they are today.

Like I recently read, motivation gets you started but habits keep you going. If we focused on establishing GOOD habits and building on them than it starts feeling like a lifejacket. I don't know where I would be without Islam. I'd probably still be wandering around lost, helpless, feeling the pain of this dunya and not knowing how to change my life for the better.

May Allah swt grant us, our families, progeny and communities hidayat and keep us on the haqq until the day we meeth Him. AMEEN.

wa Salaam!

ps AND take advantage of your Friday!

"Friday has twelve hours (or parts to it). There is one hour during which if a Muslim asks Allah anything, Allah will give it to him, so find it during the last hour after Asr." (Reported by Abu Dawud #926 of Sahih Al-Sunan

Failure

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Fri, 18 May 2012 01:38:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

Sometimes I can be too hard on myself and the feeling of being a failure is always with me. Then I read this today and it gave me encouragement.

Feeling like a failure is a natural part of becoming a success. It’s actually a good thing and means you’re taking action and putting yourself out there.

Blog therapy... I LOVE YOU.

I've been written off

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Sat, 12 May 2012 04:43:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

I'm sad. I *think* I've been written off as a friend. I tried reaching out to a person who used to be one of my close friends and nothing. She wont respond online or pick up my calls. I don't know what happened but she appears to be doing the same to another person and I think this friendship may be over.

A few weeks ago I found out she had been diagnosed with MS and I walked about 6 miles with my 2 toddlers to see her in the hospital. I was calling the whole time and she didn't pick up when I showed up with my orange (I was broke so I couldn't afford transportation hence why I walked and I couldn't buy her a gift so I offered her an orange instead). Her response was, "that's why you were calling because you were coming"

So what to do?

Its FRIDAY!

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Fri, 11 May 2012 16:50:00 +0000

As Salaamu aalaykum!

Don't mess with me or you'll bound to get a du'a

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Thu, 10 May 2012 12:38:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

I don't own a tv any more as most of whats on is GARBAGE and instead choose to watch my fave shows (or discover new ones) online, although not as often as I used to. News shows? Most of it is sensationalism anyway and the current boogey man is Islam. So if it is important enough my fb newsfeed will get flooded by it and then I'll look in to it. Before I used to watch too much news and would end up mad, feeling sick and ready to have a panic attack. Not worth my time or sanity. So when I read that Islamophobe hatterati (<-new word I learned) are plotting and plotting against Muslims using whatever straws they over reach for I don't get mad or depressed or anxious any more. I can't control what they do so why stress it?

Alhamdulillah there are people better suited than I to deal with them and frankly its not in me to engage such people. What I do, however, is make CRAZY amounts of dua during most of the du'a windows when du'as are most likely to get accepted. I've been keeping track of my du'as on a du'a list and I check them off when they've been accepted. So far I have a really high number of accepted du'as and my husband likes to say, "you know when someone gets EVERYTHING they want it usually means they are going to die soon."

H A T E R .

So back to my du'as, I read an article about some of the major Islamophobes holding conferences against us and instead of protesting those people as it will just give them traffic and who wants to do that? I make du'a for them here is the current one

May all those who attended the conferences, promoted, sponsored or learned about these conferences and their entire families and communities be granted hidayat from now until the day of judgment. AMEEN.

I also read today that there had been plans to destroy Mecca and Medinaa among other civilian targets and there were courses being taught by the same famous Islamophobes that were influencing US and military policy. So while that would have almost burst a blood vessel before I instead made the following du'a

May we all be kept safe from all those who wish us harm and may they all be granted hidayat. EVERY SINGLE person who was involved in the creation of these courses and others similar to it, propagators, proponents, financiers and distributors, their families and communities be granted hidayat from now until the day of judgment. AMEEN.May every single person who comments on these types of articles and others like it, their families and communities be granted hidayat and may they all become an asset to the Haqq. AMEEN

We all have different things we are interested and are passionate about and while I am not interested in politics and prefer more social service topics I do take the time to make du'a for them. If my du'a gets accepted then a large number of people will enter Islam or something even better will be give OR it will be answered in the hereafter. Win, win, win scenario for me.

Alhamdulillah for dua.

ps, my dua's cover a broad range of topics so this is just a sample of one.

wa Salaam.

So I was hating and I got hit by humble pie

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Tue, 08 May 2012 10:12:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

For some time I've been complaining to my husband, "this company's product is FAR inferior to mine" or "my graphics and facebook app building skills are FAR, FAR, FAR better than this guys" and not to toot my own horn (toot, toot) they are. THEY ARE better, more appealing to the eyes and better coordinated. I mean seriously. One dude's graphics are horrible, its like what I used to do in the late 90s when I was in elementary school using an equally elementary drawing program. HOWEVER, how the heck do they beat me consistently? Do their customers have no taste? If I showed you some of the work YOU will be asking these same questions.

Anyway, while preparing for my Ramadan project I read this,

"If you cannot get market reach with your message or product or service, whatever it is that you have, then you are irrelevant. That's why mediocre product creators with superb marketing and promotional skills become multimillionaires. I've heard this so many times. "Its not fair. That person's product is so inferior to mine."

OUCH! How did he hear me?

"That's why some of the mediocre products of the world have made the most money, because they have had better marketers and promoters at the helm. It's not that it's not fair. IT IS FAIR. They just knew what keys to hold, and they held the keys to the kingdom.

One of my competitors is doing crazy amounts of work right now and the orders don't stop coming in. MASHAALLAH. I'm not trying to take away from anyone, I just want some success of my own. So whenever I get these feelings I make du'a for the person's success because I don't want to take away from what they have. So I browsed through my stationery competitors profile and realized that while their product IS inferior to mine they ARE better marketers and promoters. While I'm home taking care of my children and working on my products on the side my competitors are going to fairs, conventions and local bazaars selling and promoting their products. Also ONE of my competitors is a stay at home who attends all the conventions/bazaars she can to promote her line of products so mashaAllah she is hustling and I have no excuse.

The facebook app and graphics guy? Turns out they are targeting the elderly so I'm assuming this demographic is not too tech savvy nor interested in making their own graphics so are a tad more inclined to outsource it to someone else.

So it is fair. IT IS FAIR that they are kicking my behind. It would be unfair if they didn't.

What's that sound? *SPLAT* That's humble pie my friends. Let me clean myself up.

AND am back. I just googled "hating" and I'm not too keen on the meaning but this is what came up "Hating: When one puts down the success or fortune of others due to jealousy." But then again who likes being called a 'hater'? not me.

So I can whine all I want but the truth of the matter is that you need a combination of skill, marketing and promoting skills to achieve success. My competitors aren't using sexism to sell their things (SHOCKING isn't it?), there are no girly bits hanging out, no underhanded tactics, no name smearing or spreading rumors. They simply have their mediocre product (its the truth) and their pushing it like its nobody's business. MashaAllah. More power to them. I should learn from them and implement some of the strategies.

but I dislike marketing. :( SUCK IT UP! SUCK IT UP! and get back to work. Heading over to finish my Ramadan Battle Plan. *le sigh*

Wa Salaam,

Depression

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Mon, 07 May 2012 20:08:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

I think maybe I should get checked by a doctor or get out more. One or the other. I think I've been depressed most of my life but didn't notice it because the abuse was far more painful. For the last 6 years that I've been abuse free and there is no physical pain to muffle my feelings I've been noticing it more and more.

I mentioned it to my husband and he was concerned with the possible side effects of anti-depression medication since one of them is thoughts of suicide and a few people (actually more than a few) have committed suicide while on those medications. He's afraid. Technically my depression is manageable and its not severe for the benefits of the medication to outweigh the nasty side effects. A part of me wants to beat depression because I feel that the abusers are still 'winning' because I'm still dealing with their aftermath

On a similar note, I get these genius ideas followed by a serious dip in depression. Its like the price for these ideas IS a dip in depression. Know what I mean? That kind of tax sucks.

I don't know, maybe I shouldn't be blogging when am in one of those moods. It also sucks to have HUGE and awesome ideas and not have the man power or money to fully see it through. Anyway, inshaAllah tomorrow is a new day and I'll feel better bi'ithnillah.

Wa Salaam

My 3 year old is a veteran defense lawyer

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Sun, 06 May 2012 20:04:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum.

Sometimes putting my 3 yr old to bed feels like dealing with a veteran deathrow defense lawyer, he has an appeal to an appeal on top of an appeal times 100. Before its his bed time I go through the motions,

-Did he drink water? check
-Did he have a snack? check
-Bathroom? check
-Clean pjs? check.

Otherwise that boy will be like AM THIRSTY bam! 5 additional mins
I'm still hungry, bam! 30-45 mins
I need to go to the bathroom, bam! another 10 mins.
I forgot to wash my hands after the bathroom, bam! another 2 mins
*insert excuse/appeal here* bam! another 10 mins

and the appeals go on and on until all is said and done his original bed time of 8PM has been stretched to 10PM or later. Boy is good, mashaAllah.

I run a tight ship but hubby caves too easily and inevitable messes with my highly choreographed and fine tuned bed time routine. Once I go through my checklist and I've made sure that he has been reasonably fed, hydrated and clean his appeals get DENIED. If I fail to do my checklist and there is reasonable doubt that he may in fact be hungry, thirsty and or needs to go to the bathroom his appeal gets accepted but he still has to return to bed afterward.

Hubby disregards my checklists and argues on my toddlers behalf, "maybe he is thirsty?" Dude, you don't know who you dealing with.

Hubby has invaded my naughty dreams

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Sat, 05 May 2012 15:47:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

I don't know how to say this without it coming off the wrong way. So here goes, since I got married in Dec. 2006 my husband has been in ALL my naughty dreams, like ALL of them in all varying degrees of naughty. Last night I had a really nice mild dream with just us cuddling and it felt so nice and safe. MashaAllah. I woke up and he was in the kitchen feeding the children breakfast and it made me go all fuzzy inside for him. Then I find out that even though the fridge is packed with food, two kinds of pasta, boiled potatoes, foot long bread etc, he can't 'find' food and instead fed the kids juice for breakfast.

But back to the dream, is it normal to have your husband as the male protagonist in ALL your naughty dreams?

Could have sworn I was dying last night

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Fri, 04 May 2012 13:24:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

Just spent a horrible night. :( My headache was so bad my eyes hurt and I couldn't open them but keeping them close also hurt. Don't know what was going on with my stomach but it was also giving me grief. SubhanaAllah. This morning doing a lot better but the headache is still there just not as strong. Alhamdulillah.

Bat guano, why do you invade my daydreams?

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Thu, 03 May 2012 06:56:00 +0000

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Peace be with you السلام عليك

I mean, how awesome is this picture?

I LOVE watching videos about intrepid cave explorers and I always 'dream' of one day doing the same but lets face it, I'm scared. Like, what if there is a time warp and I find myself chest deep in bat guano and swarmed by giant roaches? Worst case scenario I find out that dinosaurs aren't extinct but rather they just moved underground and I'm now neck deep in bat guano about to be lunch.

STOP IT! Imagination stop it.

I'm on FIRE!

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Wed, 02 May 2012 07:00:00 +0000

In the name of Allah, compassionate & merciful بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

Peace be with you السلام عليك

Alhamdulillah, I'm working on a habit course for Ramadan while simultaneously reviewing a habit course and one of the teachers said we shouldn't try waking up early as a new habit since its hard and deals with sleep cycles.

All throughout college (freshman and sophomore years) I was perpetually late to all my 8 AM courses. I would always wake up 30 mins in to a 50 min class and frantically run from my dorm cross the street and head to class...still in pjs. I didn't even stop for the lights it was like I had a death wish or something. Ahh the invincibility of youth.

During this time I was also considering Buddhism and my school had a Roshi (zen master) and he held meditation every morning at 5 am. I ALWAYS made plans for it but NEVER made it not once, even though it was a strong desire of mine and it was a block away in a luxury building (hello, broke college student here).

When I was considering Islam I would tell myself WHY would you join a religion that REQUIRES you to wake up before sunrise? I mean honestly when was the last time you were awake for a sunrise? and not just the one when you had to pull an all nighter JUST to finish a paper. NONE that's right, setting yourself up for failure and 'sin' aren't you? Its better to just stay the way you are sleeping in late risking life and limb in the morning to go to class.

When I did take shahada (end of my sophomore yr) it was as much a surprise to me as anyone else. BUT guess what? I woke up for ALL my fajrs from day one! I mean I went back to sleep after that and risked life and limb later but this time with hijab AND I occasionally stopped for the lights. Then when I stayed up after fajr I would be so CRAZY productive I would scare myself and my professors. So it is possible to change waking up early as a first time habit if it means something to you. The stronger the meaning the more likelihood of following through. Wa Allahu alem

ps, THREE posts in one week? what am I robot. Something is wrong with me I should probably get checked out.

Perspective STOP messing with me!

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:04:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”
― John Lubbock

Um Dayo's comment got me thinking and it also reminded me that I had the above graphic saved somewhere in my computer. I'm acutally in the process of starting new habits and it feels awesome. I want my life to be productive, to stand for something to have benefited others but more importantly my habits are atrocious and its not the kind of legacy I'd want to pass on to my children.

My toddlers are at a point where they mimic everything I say and do and I need to be presentable. I know when growing up "do as I say not as I do" didn't work and I don't have hopes it will work for my children either so my approach with my kids is "do as I say and as I do."

I was WILDLY unprepared for responsible gainful adulthood. I can survive, that's all I learned. I'm pretty confident that I can be dropped anywhere on Earth (minus the two poles) and I know I can survive and wont starve or resort to prostitution. Alhamdulillah. However, when it comes to managing my finances, social skills, running a home or any other skills needed to function in 'civil' society I am like a bull in a china shop.

Despite my moms abuse I think she did the best she could under the circumstances and the fact that I didn't go hungry or homeless while in her care speaks volumes for her. Well, technically we went homeless this one time but she had resolved it by the end of the day so I don't count it. I want to do better for my children, I don't want them to struggle as young adults with basic life skills. I want them to enjoy life, to have a fulfilling life and to be productive members of society. inshaAllah.

I'm homeschooling my kiddos (they are 3 and 1) and since they are young it involves mostly playing. What has been amazing though is the transformation I've had since becoming a mother a few years ago. For starters I rarely had a steady meal now I'm cooking and ALL my meals are chock full of VEGETABLES! say what?! Because I want them to have a healthy relationship with veggies we go to the supermarket/farmers market and they help me chose them. My son (3) is really good at picking great vegetables mashaAllah. Before having kids I would go whole YEARS barely taking a sip of water and getting most of my hydration from sodas and juices. Eeek!! I can't believe I ever wondered WHY I would end up in the hospital with almost total renal failure every semester. Now I drink almost a gallon of water a day and my toddlers drink it like its no problem. I'm now exercising more because I want them to have a healthy and active lifestyle and my children join me in my workouts. I'd say my heart has always been soft but my children have made me even more compassionate and loving. Over all having children has made me a better person and has made me WANT to be be a better person. ALHAMDULILLAH.

I like the person I'm becoming.

Pain and Disappointment

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:51:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

I think I've reached the level where the pain and disappointment in my professional life (dealing with biz goals) has reached its breaking point. I took a class once (maybe in 09 or 2010) with Sh. Muhammad Alshareef and he was discussing how people don't make change until the pain becomes unbearable and he couldn't help anyone who's life was not too bad or not too good just chugging on by as the don't feel the pain to change.

SubhanaAllah. WATCHING that course, being told exactly what was wrong with me and I was all "meh" I'm good. Looking back I realize my life in terms of my biz goals was not too bad to be insufferable but not that good ether. dang. As I'm getting older (will be 27 in July) I realize I haven't really accomplished a lot of the things I've set out to do.

There was a CERTAIN and PARTICULAR way I wanted my life to go and being married or having kids wasn't even on the list although those are my highlights and am thankful for them now. Then again I was 14 when I set out to do those things and all my goals were on a professional/biz focus and totally ignoring the personal/family life since I was an army of one at the time.

The problem has and still is that I haven't replaced all my goals with other new goals. Its been years that I've known this and I'm pretty sure I've even written one or two posts about this. *sigh* Instead I look at those deadlines pass me by and I mourn them. Even though I don't even want to do what I had once set out to do. Make sense? It doesn't to me either yet I keep doing it.

Some of my friends are in similar straits but in reverse. While my personal and family life is great even though I never planned for it I haven't achieved much professionally. My friends have great professional lives (although they did plan for it and have worked their tails off) but don't have a steady relationship and want to be married with kids.

^found it appropriate.

NO MORE! I shall fertilize my own grass! wait. I don't know how that metaphor works here but what am trying to say is I'm changing. I can't live with the discomfort and self flagellation any more. I'm too young to be having these kinds of regrets and its just not productive.

SO NO MORE, I say.

ps, I also promise to blog once a week....I lost my mojo.

Help Nadoona WIN! inshaAllah

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 22:06:00 +0000

I saw this today on my newsfeed and wanted to share as I hope they win!

http://communities.challenge.gov/submissions/6894-nadoona-a-new-dawn-for-health

Nadoona is actually in Michelle Obama's video challenge. The video with the most VOTES will be invited to the White House inshAllah. The challenge was for faith based organizations who are helping make a difference in the health of children. We are the only Muslim organization in the challenge.

Could you please vote for Nadoona? you can use facebook to create a login or use your email and then just click vote in the top right of the video. If you could share it with your groups as well that would be wonderful. We've got to have Muslims represent!

To VOTE visit:

http://communities.challenge.gov/submissions/6894-nadoona-a-new-dawn-for-health

To join Nadoona FB Group:

http://www.facebook.com/NadoonaHealth

To learn about the Non-Profit Organization :

http://nadoona.com/

http://communities.challenge.gov/submissions/6894-nadoona-a-new-dawn-for-health

You can vote DAILY till May 11! Spread the word!

Their fb even is https://www.facebook.com/events/428302770517583/428937737120753/

I saw the Angel of Death in a dream a few nights ago.

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 03:37:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

A few nights ago I had a VERY long and detailed dream and saw the Angel of Death and all I could say while I glimpsed at the tip of its humungous wings was, "wow, you're beautiful." Mostly I was awestruck by its beauty, magnificence, splendor and it was impressive. Actually the word beautiful and its synonyms don't do that creature justice, subhanaAllah. He/It appeared a split second after a man made disaster the tip of his wing appearing in the horizon so large that I could not see what it was attached to. I don't remember if it spoke back to me as I was too enthralled by its presence or if it even heard me say "wow you're beautiful."

I'm still in awe of it and the dream was not at all scary as it may sound although heavy on the details and when I woke up the difference in me was drastic. I don't fear death or the grave any more (I used to fear it with a paralyzing fear), I know it will happen whenever my time on this Earth is up. Alhamdulillah. What I am worried about now is making sure I have as many good deeds as I can possibly get.

May my best deeds be my last deeds and may the day I meet Him swt be my best day. AMEEN.

Shockingly I've lost interest in some of the things that I held dear to me before the dream but after dream that interest is gone. Like it was surgically removed and not a trace of it left behind, its not that I dislike or HATE those things now, just that I no longer have any interest in them. Now I want to maximize my deeds, get myself together and be productive in society, life and deen.

Its like a burning desire to do better to be better to reach and exceed my potential and in a sobering way also a desire to get my affairs in order.

ps, Don't try to interpret my dream as it was so detailed I could write a book on it. May Allah swt grant me the good from that dream and save me from the evils of that dream. AMEEN.

I'm completely rethinking how I spend my time as well as the purpose of my many fb pages will be. May Allah swt grant us all hidayat. AMEEN

Trayvon you will get justice INSHAALLAH

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 10:20:00 +0000

I haven't been blogging recently as I've been on facebook feverishly posting about the Trayvon Martin case from Florida. Trayvon an unarmed 17yr old walking from the store when George Zimmerman a self-appointed neighborhood watch captain stalked, confronted and fatally shot the teen. George was told by 911 dispatchers to STOP following the teen but he didn't listen. Unfortunately teenagers of all races get murdered everyday but what makes this case so infuriating is that the killer vigilante has NOT been charged for the murder of Trayvon and is hiding behind Florida's Stand Your Ground law. A law that allows you to use deadly force (although it HEAVILY favors gun owners) to defend yourself. At first authorities said it was because he had a 'squeaky clean record' and there was nothing contradicting his self defense claim. Zimmerman was not taken in to custody or tested for any intoxicants.

However, its been close to a MONTH! A MONTH! the 911 tapes have been released and this man-child is still walking free. Alhamdulillah the FBI and DOJ are FINALLY getting involved and I hope his family gets justice.

Zimmerman, who violated major parts of the Neighborhood Watch Manual, which states "It should be emphasized to members that they do not possess police powers. And they shall not carry weapons or pursue vehicles."

There are about 22,000 registered watch groups nationwide, and Zimmerman was not part of a registered group, which police were not aware of at the time of Martin's killing, said Chris Tutko, the director of the National Neighborhood Watch program. read more

How could self defense be applied when someone does not follow 911 dispatchers orders and INSTIGATES a confrontation? BLOWS MY MIND.

I've taken a special interest in this case because Trayvon resembles my two brothers one still a teenager and the other who just hit 21 and both are still living in Florida. I've always worried about my brothers because of their looks and what others will perceive of them but it never occurred to me that the SYG law could be used to kill them IF someone feels threatened by their LOOKS. I really hope there is a resolution to this case because its a damn shame that this man is still walking free. DAMN SHAME.

May this family be granted hidayat and sakeenah in their hearts to overcome their loss and may Trayvon's killer be brought to justice. AMEEN
LINKS:
to sign the petition: http://www.change.org/petitions/prosecute-the-killer-of-our-son-17-year-old-trayvon-martin

http://abcnews.go.com/US/neighborhood-watch-killing-911-tape-reveals-racial-slur/story?id=15966309#.T2mq6fVGLKc

I like bit mutts

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 22:47:00 +0000

YOU KNOW IT!

May you have the Highest Jannah Sister Ny Gany

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 03:56:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum
A facebook friend passed away today, inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiuun. May Allah swt have mercy on Najma Yasmin Ny Gani's soul, may her sins be forgiven, may all of her good deeds and prayers be accepted as complete. AMEEN.

Our sister passed away today (10th March 2012) peacefully in hospital. Her janaaza will be taking place at the Islamic Centre of Greenwich on 11th March (address: 131 Plumstead Road SE18 7DW). She wanted us to communicate this on here so everyone can attend and make duah for her. This will take place after zhur prayers so please be present from 12:30pm if you can. Her burial will take place at the Garden of Peace afterwards. Thank you Osman and Sabina. LINK

I've been following her diagnosis because as a child I was diagnosed with leukemia and after chemo it successfully went in to remission by age 7, alhamdulillah. I was as skinny as a bone, subhanaAllah.

feb 17th is a day of reflection for me & my family, its the day six years ago i was diagnosed with leukaemia. six years on i am still fighting, im worn out & my life has turned out completely different to what i imagined. i have so much to be thankful for, and so many questions for my creator....but at the end of this i know there is a better place where pain & disease no longer exist and the battle in this life will def be worth the rewards of the next....it took a while to reach this conclusion but alhamdulilah i understand it now. LINK

Please keep our sister in your du'as because by tomorrow night it will be the first night in the grave for her. May Allah swt forgive her and reward her immensely. AMEEN.

Wa Salaam

Answering ̶E̶v̶e̶r̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ Anyone? o.O ...nafsi! nafsi!

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 04:48:00 +0000

Bismilllah,
I saw the following status update being passed around in my circle of friends and I wanted to share it with you all. When I read "call people to the Quran and Sunnah and not to bother with their doubts and whims" I cringed. WHY NOT?! WE SHOULD confront those doubts and dispel them. However, after some time to cool off I agree somewhat with it.

There are so many bad ideas and doubts. Life is too short to answer it all and it harms more than benefits. The correct methodology is to call people to the Quran and Sunnah and not to bother with their doubts and whims. The heart is easily affected and one must protect it to preserve it from change. Most of those who went astray were those who were over confident. The Prophet salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam forbade us from facing the Dajjal when he comes out, fearing that one will follow him due to the tribulations that he brings with him. Allah says: “then sit not with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; (but if you stayed with them) certainly in that case you would be like them”. How many went astray and were indulged in acts of hypocrisy and doubts unknowingly due to listening to falsehood? -Assim Alhakeem

There was a brother (don't remember his name, screen name or anything else--nor do I want to remember, please don't post his information--) but he used to make videos tearing down people who'd left Islam. I watched ONE of his videos because it happened to be about a friend of mine who had left Islam. He was very harsh, delineating how they were never Muslim to begin with since their views weren't Islamic from the get go etc. A few months after posting that video he also left Islam and created a video about it (the same ones he would mock & tear up before) but I didn't watch it. After all those videos appearing so strong and sure of his beliefs he left. inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajiuun.

Anyway my point is that I feel comfortable in my Islam and am willing to share my love for it to others but don't feel the need to go through every post on every blog and forum to defend Islam. I make du'a for the world. I truly want for them what I want for myself but I wont beat anyone into submission. I'm to relay the message and the recipient is to do with it as she pleases. InshaAllah it is well received.

That's all folks!

ps, May we and all those who have strayed be granted hidayat and brought back to the haqq until the day of judgment. AMEEN

wa SALAAM!

pps, btw just so there are no misunderstanding I DO NOT know who Assim Alhakeem is. I found his status update interesting and wanted to reference him so I can remember where I got it from. It doesn't mean I know the person or condone ALL of their behavior.

Rough Rough Rough Week(s)

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 05:38:00 +0000

As Salaamu Aalaykum,

Its been a few rough weeks now. Alhamdulillah for everything. When it rains it pours and I am struggling to keep my head up. Last week I dealt with THIS and it hit me at the worst possible time. Blogging has been a release for me as I can let go of my past in a SAFE anonymous way. Its brought a lot of new friends and it has been overall a great experience.

Anyway, after a LONG break from blogging there's a lot of pent up memories that need to GO. To help with that I opened up to my husband letting go of a few of them and it honestly overwhelmed him. Dang. He was TRYING so hard to be supportive but there's only so many seriously abusive memories a person can absorb before it takes a toll on them. So am back to blogging. InshaAllah it doesn't overwhelm you guys. *InshaAllah*

For a few months now, I've been feeling lonely, jealous, bitter and all other nasty qualities I'd rather not have. Whenever I do feel thing I immediately make du'a for the person who brought out those emotions because they are innocent and I DO NOT want to hurt them in anyway or give them the eye. Its not that I wish they DIDN'T have what they have its more of a sadness that I lack it. Its selfish and childish but I just haven't been able to shake it off me.

I stay away from pregnant women because my miscarriage is still fresh (one year for the first twin to be miscarried and in a few weeks it will be one year since the 2nd twin was miscarried). The feeling of lost and mourning took a few months AFTER the miscarriage to hit me as I was in survival mode but, boy when it hit me, it hit me hard. I thought I got a handle on it because I wasn't bursting in to tears but on Jan 10th I was reading an article about Jay-Z's new rap song (one of my bros is a huge fan and I was curious about his daughter). It mentioned that they had a miscarriage prior to giving birth to Blue Ivy and I burst in to tears. DANG. I just stared at my screen and cried. Cried for my loss, their loss and every other parent who has lost a child. It burned. Unexpected and the tears started just with the giant words spelling M I S C A R R I A G E. <--That's what did it. Then when I read his pain and it reflected my pain the tears just poured.

Last time the miscarriage was so tragic
We was afraid you'd disappear, but nah, baby, you magic

You know what made it worst?
That I hadn't considered how this would affect any future pregnancies. I'm terrified of getting pregnant again. Terrified. I feel like am barely holding on to this world as it is. Of all the things that I thought would knock me down I never expected it from a song that I haven't even heard not once. Don't want to even imagine what it would do to me if I actually hear it.

False alarms and false starts

All made better by the sound of your heart

All the pain of the last time

I prayed so hard it was the last time....

This turned out to be a long post and I've already shared a few tears I'm taking a break until tomorrow. inshaAllah. May all the parents who have lost children be granted hidayat and sakeenah in their hearts and mind from now until the day of judgment. AMEEN.

Wa Salaam,

Am BACK!

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 18:31:00 +0000

After 7 months of going over to wordpress am back to blogger, will you take me back? It was lonely over there and blogging was supposed to be my stress reliever but it became a JOB. Had to constantly keep upgrading and tweaking it all the time so that it would actually work

I stopped following my fave blogs because I had to log back in to blogger to do that and I hate login in to stuff. (mental barriers). I'm hoping to catch up on my reading now that am back inshaAllah.

What have you ladies been upto?

WORRY WARRIORS! HERE ME ROAR!

noreply@blogger.com (.::Tuttie::.) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:12:00 +0000

For 2012 I decided I WILL be more social so I signed up for meetup and started a few groups (I'm closing them as I can't afford them...oops). However, as I started searching the site I discovered some pretty SWEET meetups take the following one for example

http://www.meetup.com/Worrierwarriors/

HOW COOL ARE THEY?!

There's another meetup for light saber FIGHT CLUB! (http://lightsaber.meetup.com/)

2012 is gonna be AWESOME!

Trying to Take Over the World!

I am now close to 40Gs in the hole :(

I live down the street from a violent rapist

Extremely strict...

Failure

I've been written off

Its FRIDAY!

Don't mess with me or you'll bound to get a du'a

So I was hating and I got hit by humble pie

Depression

My 3 year old is a veteran defense lawyer

Hubby has invaded my naughty dreams

Could have sworn I was dying last night

Bat guano, why do you invade my daydreams?

I'm on FIRE!

Perspective STOP messing with me!

Pain and Disappointment

Help Nadoona WIN! *inshaAllah*

I saw the Angel of Death in a dream a few nights ago.

Trayvon you will get justice INSHAALLAH

I like bit mutts

May you have the Highest Jannah Sister Ny Gany

Answering ̶E̶v̶e̶r̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ Anyone? o.O ...nafsi! nafsi!

Rough Rough Rough Week(s)

Am BACK!

WORRY WARRIORS! HERE ME ROAR!

Help Nadoona WIN! inshaAllah